"Bad bees. Get away from my sugar. Ow. OW. Oh, they're defending themselves somehow."
-- Homer Simpson

Whatever, dude.

One of the ways in which I justify the copious amounts of time that I spend zombifying myself in front of the Idiot Box is by criticizing (or critiquing, even) advertisements instead of putting on my coat to go buy whatever they’re hawking.

I encourage everyone to join me in boycotting products that are poorly advertised.

So, in the first in a longish series of critiques, I slag the following:

Juicy Fruit
Smashing that guy’s guitar was funny the first time, showing that you’re moving into the new millennium and all by making fun of your former pitch and introducing the latest attempt to break into the blister-pack gum market (already dominated by Excel, which is also made by Wrigley’s!!! duh).

Except by smashing his guitar and playing that corny music in multiple ads, that means he’s still in every ad and is effectively still your spokesman!!! Uber-Lame.

Boston Pizza
Just a quick slag here. If the customers in the freakin’ ad think Howie Mandel is a loser, why am I supposed to think any differently? (And I certainly had no pre-existing inclination to think differently anyway.)

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