"Your questions have become more redundant and annoying then the last three "Highlander" movies."
-- Comic Book Guy

If I go to hell then I hope I burn well

I woke up this morning trying to figure out if I was having a stroke, but it turned out that I was just smelling smoke from Quebecois forest fires.

In addition to hindering respiration throughout Quebec and Eastern Ontario, the visual effects of the forest fires are a threat to Superman’s powers.

0

Am I everything you need?

Yup, I’m back. My latest hiatus from blogging has been the longest yet, I think, and it’s been long enough that I even have to do some work to upgrade the blog software and add-ons as well.

Not much is all that new in my life…I’m once again working a little too much, but I’ve moved from the Evil Corporation to the Slightly-Less-Evil Corporation that bought the division I work for. The work to integrate into the new company is what’s got me putting in the extra hours again (sigh).

I’m still sailing…the boat went into the water last month, but it took until a few days ago to get the mast raised so that BogMan and I could actually get out on the river. We actually went for a swim while out last weekend, making it the earliest time of year that I’ve ever been in the Ottawa River. It wasn’t exactly polar bearing, but let’s just say it was cold enough to cause some serious shrinkage.

The biggest change since the last time I blogged is the introduction of a new hobby: Golf! Yes, that sport that I’ve spent many years deriding is now a favourite pastime…let the mockery ensue. Happy Phantom and Kamelot dragged me out last June, and I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. So I picked up some second-hand clubs and I’ve been slowly learning how to play. I’m definitely not what anyone would call “good”, but I can see some gradual improvement since last year, and that’s enough for now.

At some point, I’d like to talk a little about the Lost finale, but I’m going to let my thoughts on it percolate a little first. I’ve really enjoyed Lost, but the finale wasn’t quite what I was expecting or hoping for. I’m not willing to go so far as to say I didn’t like it, but it definitely left a few things hanging…however, since I’m pretty sure that was a conscious choice on the part of the writers, I’d like to think on it a bit before passing judgement… :-)

Anyway, that’s all I have to say today…I’m back, and hopefully I’ll stick around for a while this time!

0

And I’m gonna be high as a kite

I’ve been hunting around for this clip for quite a while, after hearing about it for years and then finally seeing it in Comedy Central’s roast of the Shat-man. Family Guy fans will also enjoy seeing what was being parodied when Stewie did his spoken-word rendition of Rocket Man… :-)

4

I still belong, don’t get me wrong

OK, this is now my umpteenth attempt at re-entering the blogosphere (ouch, sorry…). I think I just have to accept the fact that regular updates require me to be a little less theme-y (or message-y, if you prefer) and topical, and instead just focus on the miscellaneous rambling that makes up the majority of the interweeb.

Song lyrics as post headings are not something I’m willing to give up on just yet, however. And before someone inevitably uses the similarity with the Grey’s Anatomy episode naming convention as an excuse to call me girly, keep in mind that I was using song lyrics (with the occasional TV or movie quote thrown in) long before Patrick Dempsey became known as McDreamy. Unfortunately, I can’t do anything to stop you using my enthusiasm for Grey’s Anatomy as evidence of my girly-man nature… :-)

My monumental revelation for today is that I have fallen in love with a new webcomic. I can’t remember if someone (i.e. Kamelot) recommended Questionable Content to me, or if I just stumbled upon it randomly, but I am totally hooked. And there’s literally over a thousand of them in the archive, so there’s plenty to catch up on!

Whenever I read a new webcomic, I always start thinking: “Hey! I could write this shit!” But then I remember that despite my avid fanboy-esque nature, my creative writing skills have always been marginal, at best. While I mentally drool at the idea of creating an ensemble cast of characters to slowly develop over time, I don’t think I could really pull it off. Joss Whedon and Tim Kring have set the bar too high for me… :-)

2

But seas between us broad have roared

Happy New Year, everyone! Or at least, those of you using the Gregorian calendar…the rare proponents of the Julian calendar have to wait until January 14 for their New Year’s festivities, and for anyone using the Chinese calendar, the Year of the Rat (4706) does not begin until February 7. Persians (and Zoroastrians) will wait until March 21 for Norouz, and now I’m tired of this multicultural recitation… :-)

I’m desperately trying to avoid making any New Year’s resolutions, as my history with them has been abysmal. I’m much better off just deciding to do something rather than tying it to the New Year…I guess I’m anti-fad in all forms…either that or I just have no willpower at all.

WIth 2007 behind us, however, I suggest everyone go have a look at the Year in Review movie over at JibJab.com. While you’re there, check out some of their earlier works, as most of these are pretty hilarious. My favourites are “What We Call the News” and “Big Box Mart”…

0

Bells on bob-tail ring

(The following is reproduced without change from Apple Zombies.)

This statement of good wishes (“Greeting”) from me (“Sender”) is intended to be generic in nature. “Holiday” is intentionally left an undefined term. This holiday may include, but not be limited to, Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, New Year’s Day, Saturnalia, or even Elvis’ Birthday (“Elvis” is a registered trademark of Elvis Presley Enterprises, Memphis, TN). Further, the recipient of this greeting (“Receiver”), may insert his or her own holiday into this Greeting, either explicitly or implicitly, or no holiday at all, if he or she chooses. If Receiver celebrates no holidays during the intended period of Greeting, assumed to be roughly mid-December, 2007 through the first week in January, 2008 (“Greeting Period”), he or she may consider Greeting to be merely general, and a simple wish of good feelings and joy, suitable for any time of year, or no time at all.

Greeting should in no way be construed to guarantee or warrant happiness or other good feelings during Greeting Period, or warrant or guarantee an acceptable holiday. By accepting Greeting, Receiver expressly agrees that he or she assumes the risk for his or her own holiday. Receiver will hold Sender harmless should Receiver’s expectations for Greeting Period and wishes contained herein not coincide.

Greeting is at all times subject to withdrawal by Sender, and it may be canceled or modified at any time, without notice to Receiver. In the event of cancellation, Receiver shall receive no credit or proration for any time left in Greeting Period. Greeting is not intended to be transferable, and has no cash value. Under no circumstances may Receiver in any way alter Greeting, or publish Greeting directly or indirectly without express written permission of Sender. Permission may be withheld for any reason within the sole discretion of Sender, with no rule of reasonableness.

Should Receiver not accept the terms of Greeting listed above, no rights or benefits related to Greeting will accrue.

Should a dispute arise from Greeting, Receiver agrees that jurisdiction and venue will be in the courts of Shelby County, Tennessee. Sender and Receiver agree that personal jurisdiction will lie in those courts, regardless of the location of either party. Greeting will be construed under the laws of the State of Tennessee, without regard to Choice of Law or Renvoy.*

*The above disclaimer is Copyright 2007 by Apple Zombies, Peter Baskind, and Scott Porch. All rights are reserved, and may only be used with explicit permission. For licensing information, contact the author at peterbaskind@gmail.com.

2

Save me from myself!

Here’s a cute little tidbit from the world of movies: a couple of US frat boys are suing the makers of the mockumentary “Borat” because it made them look bad:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/6136944.stm

And here, silly little me, thought it was the making of sexist and racist comments during a #*$(&#(*$&#) INTERVIEW (which these frat boys apparently knew was going to be aired!) that made them look bad…

1

I knew there was a scientific explanation for this…

I’ve finally found it – actual scientific evidence that pregnancy DOES shrink your brain!

In perusing the BBC World New this am, I found this gem:

She said not only are male and female brains different, but women’s brains change throughout life in relation to fluctuating hormone levels.

“That may well affect disease states and how drugs work.”

She scanned the brains of women before and after they were pregnant and found the brain shrank during pregnancy.

The shrinkage was even greater if the woman had a complication of pregnancy called preeclampsia, but reversed by six months after delivery of the baby.

So, Kaveman, there you have it. Not exactly proof, but at least correlation. Perhaps I should view this as a handicap to my Catan games? Ha ha!

11

The World’s Best Diet – Guaranteed!

Ahh – the joys of motherhood!

I’ve quickly come to realize that no one’s looked into breastfeeding as a great form of weight loss (though pregnancy is nonetheless a great way to gain weight…). With boobfeeding, one can go from this:

To this (SMP not included):

In a matter of days I’m back to my regular shirts (porn star boobs notwithstanding), and almost back into my regular pants. Righteous Guy, a true Greek that he is, wants me to keep the “soft little potbelly” I’m sporting now – he says he doesn’t want me to return fully to my pre-preggo state. Funny, and here I was thinking it was the boobs he was most pleased with… (Memo to self: don’t wean SMP too early…)

Cheers all,
Grabber and SMP

5

The Return of Hockey

As many of you know, the National Hockey League strike/lockout (it’s all the same, really) officially ended late last month. The weeks since have seen a flurry of off-ice activity with the entry draft and plenty of trades and free-agent signings, which have been made more interesting (and necessary) because of the new salary cap and the strategies and dumping of payroll that go with such a financial scheme.

From my perspective, the recent uptick in league activity has been accompanied by a proportional increase in interested chatter, both in the media and by the public. Radio sports shows seem to be discussing nothing else besides all the player movement and the outlook for the teams involved. The TV networks and their hockey personalities can barely contain their glee at the return of their prime commodity, and are advertising as though the season starts next week. Bar talk and internet banter have picked up hockey as a regular topic with a vengeance once again, and I know my friends and I have had many conversations about which player is going where, which teams are moving up, and how the Senators will fare this season.

All this from a population that generally proclaimed to be “not able to care less” all last winter and spring concerning the potential return of hockey. I thus offer this theory: they were all LYING.

Seriously…how many people did you speak with last fall and winter that did not seem to be bothered by the lockout? Seemed like plenty. How many people professed to not miss NHL hockey during the cold, dark nights of January and February, claiming something silly like “I’m going outside more” or “I like to play sports, not watch sports”. Right. I’ll keep an eye open for you on the cross-country skiing trails at 8pm on a Saturday. I suppose playing poker (which includes watching it on TV, apparently) counts as staying active as well.

General conversation, polls both informal and scientific, and anecdotal evidence all seemed to support the notion that Canadians did not miss hockey one bit and did not care if it returned or not. These responses were given as though it were the highest-paid players themselves that were asking the questions, for the alleged apathy was an obvious reaction to the greedy antics of the two primary participants in the lockout, the league and the players, with the third, and most important, participant – the fans – being blatantly ignored in the process. In reality those fans were mad, not disinterested, and were offering the silent treatment as a response, instead of something a little more constructive and mature.

Sports recap shows filled their gaping holes of airtime with basketball highlights, and people pretended to be interested – when they weren’t cross-country skiing of course. Poker dominated the sports channel airwaves, and people pretended to be interested. Even the dreaded NASCAR has a growing pretend following north of the border.

But worst of all, Canadians pretended to be interested in politics. And not in the good way. Here’s a little rule of thumb for future reference: never have a hockey lockout during a minority government. Or maybe it’s the other way around. How much political bickering occurred in the last 12 months, both in public and behind closed doors? Do we even remember what we were arguing about? I think Canadians were just testy in general because of the lack of hockey, and then filled the vacant hours with pointless, heated debate.

As many of you know, the Gomery Inquiry testimony was reportedly the most popular reality television program in Quebec this past spring. If I may put forth that televised sports was the original incarnation of reality TV, then let me theorize that had the Habs been playing hockey last year then Gomery would have fallen to number two. Since the Liberals’ moral authority to govern seemed to fluctuate daily based on how damning that day’s testimony was about events of ten years ago, I’d say that the discourse about the potential fall of the government would have been lessened had fewer people actually been paying attention. Stephen Harper must have been loving every non-hockey moment of 2004-2005, whereas Paul Martin was probably the happiest man in Canada the minute the new Collective Bargaining Agreement was signed. Remember, the CBC News gets pushed back by up to several hours almost every day for two months beginning in April to make room for playoff coverage. Do you think anybody would have heard of Gremant Grewal had the Canucks, Flames, Leafs, or Senators made it to the Stanley Cup finals?

I for one was always quite honest about my disappointment over the lost season, even if the result is better for the game. That the same result could very well have been achieved without the season being lost is now moot. But allow me the satisfaction of labelling Bob Goodenow as a pig-headed egomaniac as a parting shot. A good hockey game on the tube is often an important ingredient of a fun Saturday night in fall and winter, something to enjoy over beer and pizza with people over or before going out, or watching another game. With the amount of alleged hockey-haters coming out of the closet in recent weeks, it’ll be like it never left. Those two-foot blue lines are sure going to look ugly though.

4

What is Greenland?

Here’s an interesting one; Is greenland a part of North America, or isn’t it? I’m not up on my plate tectonics, but it certainly is quite close to Canada. On the other hand, continental boundaries that are arbitraty and culture-based do exist (i.e. where exactly is the division between Asia and Europe? Is there even a boundary).

DirtyOldToon, you’re the geographer, how do you weigh in on this one? Just curious!

6

Fainting Goats….

http://www.jengajam.com/r/fainting-goats-video

Maybe Homewrecker could prove me wrong, but I can’t see this as being much of an evolutionary advantage. God must have been coming off a three-day bender…

4

B.S., M.S., Pile higher and Deeper

Further to the extensive conversation regarding the treatment of science in the (arguably) science fiction works of Star Wars vs. Star Trek, one of the themes that has come up is just how grounded in current scientific thought the science needs to be in science fiction, and whether or not it is OK if the creator choses not to bother to base their future scie & tech on actual science but instead to BS his/her way through it.

In order to shed some light on this subject, I believe that the following definition of BS could prove helpful. Enjoy.

PS I figured out the link button! I figured out the link button! OK, I found the link button! (It is a little cryptic, you know!)

1

What I have told you was true…from a certain point of view

Since this debate has come up at Sunday breakkie for the second week in a row, I thought I’d see if I could get it raging here as well.

Webster’s dictionary defines science fiction as: fiction dealing principally with the impact of actual or imagined science on society or individuals or having a scientific factor as an essential orienting component.

It defines fantasy as: imaginative fiction featuring especially strange settings and grotesque characters.

So on the question of whether Star Wars is science fiction or fantasy, I guess I’ll have to concede that it has more science fiction than I’ve been willing to admit (the imagined science is what nails me).

However, it’s interesting to note that Dictionary.com defines science fiction as: a literary or cinematic genre in which fantasy, typically based on speculative scientific discoveries or developments, environmental changes, space travel, or life on other planets, forms part of the plot or background. This definition implies that science fiction is in fact a sub-genre of fantasy, which I don’t think I’ve ever considered before. I suppose it makes sense on a conceptual level, but the instances of each seem so divergent that it isn’t obvious. This of course further obscures the original question…or maybe it clarifies it? :-)

17

What’s good for the goose…

Well, here’s my poor bud Kaveman trying to drag his broken body about his place after a day of skiing. As a doctor, I can hardly condone the statement “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, but I have to admit this seems to ring true in much of Kaveman’s life… After all, his recurrent bouts of car trouble have only made him a tough nut to crack for auto mechanics (which translates into better estimates, and hence a more robust financial health picture), the pain from exercise over-exertion translates directly into extra sympathy points (which, as any MD worth her salt knows, emotional health translates into much more longevity than physical health. An average of 16 years of life.), or mockery (which may shorten one’s lifespan, but at least gives one the tools with which to handle stress effectively. If Kav putting his hand through a wall could be classed as effective.). Either way, my best friend did NOT indeed die, and IS indeed all the stronger for it.

Same bat time, same bat channel next Sunday? :D

Cheers,
The Grabber

PS: As for my actual patients, what doesn’t kill them – well, it doesn’t actually doesn’t seem to make them any stronger. Case in point: my non-compliant adolescent renal transplant patient, who comes to ER looking like death warmed over, and complains he can’t have a smoke. Nearly died of his Pneumococcal sepsis, and now has all the strength of your average newborn lamb. Stronger? No. Smarter? Unlikely – especially given he’s asked (by writing – he’s presently on a ventilator with 40% oxygen getting piped in) when he can leave the hospital “for a smoke. ‘Cuz it makes my lungs feel better”. Sigh.

0

I’ve told you a million times: don’t exaggerate

Come on now, it couldn’t have been more than five minutes picking out the gravel…

0

Wakey wakey

Well it’s almost 11 and i am still the only one awake in my wee wittle appartment. well me and the cats. but i even got up before Kamalots cat kiki. like hello! what’s upw ith the sleepy sleepy. did the sandman come and just happen to miss me or did i sneeze?
we went on a little shopping spree at shoppers drugmart yesterday thtawas fun we got a game and some hair and face stuff and had an all around girly night in. oh yeah and htere was candy can’t forget the candy.
I figure now i will go down to the zellers and buy some stuff for cleaning well everyone else is sleeping. oh Zellers is having a sale on thursday and friday which i am very excited about. they have hamilton beach rotiseries on for half price for the two days only. oh yeah i’ll so be there when the doors open. i’m a sale aholic. i went to sears when they had their anual open at 7 sale day. i got a little christmas tree and toyes for my new day care i’m going to be setting up. but i figure why buy something for full price when it will eventually go on sale. know waht i mean vern?

1

I want to blog but have nothing to blog about.

so this is my pre movie blog…i am on my way out to see saw with brian. yay movies. i haven’t been to the movies in a long time. i’m so out of touch with everything. This will be my first night out for months. i spend to much time inside my little appartment…well nowi get out but when i’m out i’m at work so not much better. isolation sucks. i should stop that. but my bestest best friend is coming down and she’s easy to get to go places and i just don’t go places cause there’s no one to go places with….friends is key.Note To Self: must make more friends.

1

Gainfully Employed

Just one thing before i get into my story. If you haven’t noticed i spell worse then a grade Three student….so don’t poke fun. but anyways on to my ranting and raving.
I had a job interview today at Tribal voices and i could so tell i didn’t even have to have the interview for them to want hire me after like 5 minutes it was more of a you know we had to do the interview cuse it’s part of the rules but really we wanted to hire you anyways so….how’s life? what’s going on? how long have you lived here? well let me tell you about my day! you don’t mind if i drink my tea do you? heheh i think out of hte whole interview process they may have asked me two interview questions. well one and a half. So i am way excited now. cause you know my whole social phobia i thought i screwed it up right on the droping off of the reseme stage but apparetnly no i made a good impression on the manager and seh even put my reseme aside to make sure the owner would go over it. and when i went in she knew who i was and everything i was like wow you can even remember my name! i can barely remember my own name let alone the name of someone i say once and then say it on a piece of paper a couple times. so yeah i’m excited. i start tomorrow at 10 – 2

0

Gee, I hope Happy Phantom’s all right…

I just realized my last post was two days ago and contained the phrases “avenge my death” and “if I don’t return”. So I just thought I’d mention that I’m OK, I survived the transition back to Ottawa, and please don’t do any avenging…

1

All right, Paris…

I’m not comfortable with this blog being your vehicle to husbandry…

Besides, “People are Idiots” is a slogan!

0

Blog meeting!

Does anyone else find this incredibly amusing? Is it bad that our only incoming links are from this site…?

I think we need a slogan. PaI is just waiting to take off and propel me into superstardom and rich husbands, and I think our lack of witty catchphrase is the only thing holding us back. Well, that and the fact that nobody actually *visits* the site…

2

Virgin post

Well, I’ve finally been afforded the luxury – nay, the honour – of a spot on my best friend’s blog. Hello world out there, bow before might that is the Grabber!

1

Would he have to wear the white trooper armor?

Zak

I think I like my cat as a unique entity. Besides if we clone him, mightn’t we be too tempted to “improve” him just a bit, and then end up with the Eugenics Wars? Then we’d have to ship him and his little kitty cohorts off on a sleeper ship, only to have them be woken up two or three centuries down the road by a well-meaning, but somewhat reckless, young starship captain who would then have to fight off a takeover attempt….and then fifteen years later that same captain, now an admiral and not quite as young (although still quite reckless) ends up in a subterranean cavern bellowing “ZAAAAAAAK!!!!” into a communicator….

OK, I think I’ve committed some kind of geek faux-pas…I have a Star Wars reference in my post title, but a Star Trek reference in the post itself. I think I have to tear up my card or something…

1

Do me a favor?

Clone zak for me?

0

It’s an entirely different shade of green…

In no way does the green on this site look at all like my living room. I think you’re just a little colour-blind.

Also, did you not read the first post? I’m working on the site’s look-and-feel…I’m sorry if my job and, y’know, life get in the way of doing things quickly enough for you… :-D

10

Whatever guy

dude, that was movie review gold i gave you, and for the record it was Bryce Dallas Howard i said was cute (she’s just so adorable!) so i should think you’d be agreeing with that. I just happened to mention my intent to wed Joaquin (wa-KEEN) Phoenix. Note to Joaquin: Seriously guy, you know you want me. I’ll even call you leaf…

Sidebar: whats with the lousy ass mazda fake green colour scheme here? seriously guy, not everything needs to match yer living room.

0

Yes, what was I thinking?

Your first major post is to comment on some guy being cute? This is what you’re giving me?

0