"I bent my wookie."
-- Ralph Wiggum

NOOOOOOOO!!!!

George Lucas, marketing whore that he is, has finally sunk to aligning himself with that lowest of lows, that darkest of dark sides, reality TV unscripted programming. The picture at right is the actual image defiling my inbox this morning, sent by those bastards at starwars.com.

Over and over again, last year’s decision to stop watching TV keeps getting re-affirmed. I’ve been loving my new approach (i.e. watching TV programs as they’re released on DVD, via zip.ca). I get to watch pretty much anything I want (albeit a few months after broadcast), and I get better A/V quality, no commercials, and most of all, I don’t have to put up with the vagaries of culturally bereft, ratings-hungry morons (aka network execs) who screw around with the broadcast schedule just to rake in a few extra dollars for the next day’s money fight. The only remnant of that era for me is that I still have to deal with them cancelling quality shows just because the ROI isn’t up to the same standard as having Paris Hilton prance around the world pretending she’d know how to live life without a gajillion dollars.

Oh well, at least it’s only nine more days until Serenity.

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I find their lack of taste disturbing…

If you needed any additional evidence that George Lucas is a marketing whore, read on!

It seems that Lucasfilm has gotten tired of missing out on the truckloads of cash raked in for Love Day, so they’ve decided to release Star Wars-themed cards this year. I don’t even know where to begin with this — these things are worse than the Jar Jar Binks plastic head with the candy tongue.

Also, one of the cards puts some kind of romantic overtone onto the dynamic duo of Threepio and Artoo, which I find greatly disturbing. Now, I consider myself pretty open-minded when it comes to the principle of live and let love, but do we really need to spoil our pleasant memories of innocently enjoying tales of galactic rebellion with some kind of retroactive robo-erotic subtext?

Sometimes I just don’t understand human behaviour…

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You can’t take the sky from me…

OK, here’s the e-mail I mentioned earlier. This was sent in response to a friend making a smart-ass comment about Firefly getting cancelled because nobody watched it.

From: KaveMan
Sent: April 29, 2004 7:41 AM
Subject: RE: Firefly marathon – part 1

Actually, the show was cancelled because Fox is a vision-less network trying to regain past glories like X-files or Simpsons without taking any of the risks that led to those shows finding some level of success. Firefly was stuck in the Friday 8pm time slot that has historically been a show-killer, and had almost no marketing whatsoever–the only place I saw ads for it was in some DC comics (!). Then, at the 11-episode mark, Fox cancels it, magnanimously allowing the previously-unaired original pilot to serve as series ender (two additional episodes were shot but never aired–they’re on the DVDs).

If you take a look at the ratings, those 11 episodes did better than the first-season episodes of Buffy, Angel, X-files, and many, many other successful shows. A genre show like Firefly takes a little bit of time to build an audience, which is something that Fox experienced (and then promptly forgot about, apparently) with The X-Files. Even so, almost 3 million Americans watched Firefly every week, on average.

Of course, an interesting, well-written, and entertaining show obviously can’t compare to the TV exec’s dream: Who wants to Marry a Big Fat Obnoxious Millionaire Bachelorette while Buildings Collapse and Celebrities Box at Paradise Hotel on Temptation Island….

p.s. yes, I’m bitter….stoopid Fox….
p.p.s. for some laughs, read this Feb 2000 article containing statements from Fox execs, and then check these out: http://www.fox.com/simplelife/, http://www.fox.com/bigfat/, http://www.fox.com/swan/

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He does pretty well with fiends from hell…

I have no problem with Joss forsaking all others for the sake of Firefly. Serenity needs to come out, make a bajillion dollars, and then get back on the air, preferably on a semi-useful network, and not that short-sighted, money-grubbing, realityunscripted-show-loving, quality-bereft, wouldn’t-know-good-storytelling-if-it-bit-em-in-the-ass network, Fox.

I need to post a rant I sent out via e-mail a few months ago, but I’m not at my own computer right now…someone remind me if I forget.

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