-- Ash

Well, I wanted to be an a$$hole, but all the TV pundit jobs were taken.


I came away wondering, if I was ever to meet Tucker Carlson, if I would have the guts to actually strike him, or if I would wimp out and merely throw a drink in his face. Now Ann Coulter on the other hand…


White Phosphorus

Just a small, but pointed, rant here, sparked by the white phosphorus story.

Now, I’m not going to get all bleeding-heart lefty-indignant about the horrors of the ‘weapon’ itself and claim that it should be classified as a chemical weapon or WMD and be banned by some international body. But I do have a problem with the arguments that use semantics to defend its use, pointing to some list that says some weapons are ok and some aren’t (rumours of the use of napalm notwithstanding). Or the arguments that point out burning jet-fuel in a WTC tower as justification.

Here’s my point. Aren’t the U.S. supposed to be the good guys? I asked the same rhetorical question when Abu Ghraib became public and some pro-war types scoffed because the ‘terrorists’ had it coming to them.

You can’t just brand yourself as The Good Guys and then do whatever the hell you want. You’re not The Good Guys because your flag is made of primary colours. You’re not The Good Guys because your God is better than other people’s God. You’re not The Good Guys because you adhere to certain standards of conduct that you find convenient, and argue semantics to keep doing things that may be as horrible as things that are outright illegal. Being The Good Guys means acting that way and showing the rest of the world that what you’re doing is a good idea. The hypocrisy of the WMD justification for war just makes this worse. I realize that WP does not deliver ‘mass’ destruction, but again, let’s not argue exact number of deaths due to skin melting here.

I could be way off here, but I can’t help but come to the conclusion that many pro-war Americans or hawkish Westerners in general actually believe that the terrorists or the insurgents or Muslim kooks from the Middle East overall admittedly think of themselves as The Bad Guys and they’re out to get the prissy American Good Guys, and that neutral parties see it this way too therefore the Americans can behave as they please.

If more people realized that the Muslims that hate America think of themselves as The Good Guys also, and that it is the US who are The Bad Guys (try and put yourself in their shoes and see how easy that would be), then more people might see how pointless this all is.

edit: Oh, and another thing. I don’t get all in a huff when I read stories about messy weapons, prisoner abuse, and civilian deaths, etc (apart from the above rant, obviously, and the occasional ‘told you so’), because I was all in a huff about the war in the first place, largely because this is the kind of shit that happens in war, duh. If war consisted of flag football and tickle fights you’d find far fewer people opposed to it.


I so need S-foils on my car…

OK, to all the idiots out there who drive 50kph up the on-ramp and merge lane to the 417, and begin accelerating after they’ve inserted themselves into faster-moving traffic: that’s not the way to do it, you dillholes. Let’s go back to Driving 101, shall we? The on-ramp and merge lane are for accelerating up to the speed of traffic, so that you have a smooth transition when inserting yourself onto a crowded highway.

Oh, and while we’re at it, when I flash my high beams at you, it doesn’t mean “go about your business as if nothing whatsoever just happened”. It actually means “get the fuck outta my way, you slow bastard”.

That is all.


Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the dark side

OK, it’s official…the world has gone mad.

I am a Star Wars freak. I’ve been a Star Wars freak for a long time. I’m one of those people who annoy their friends by speaking the lines of these wonderful movies along with the characters. I incorporate Star Wars quotes into everyday conversation. I have camped overnight to buy tickets to Star Wars movies. I’ve played almost every Star Wars videogame ever made. I own the Star Wars edition of Trivial Pursuit, and can correctly answer most of the questions.

I say all this in order to lend some weight to the following: THEY’RE JUST MOVIES! George Lucas is not Satan. He’s a creative man who enjoys to tinker with his works, and while we may dislike his continual editing of these movies many of us have grown up with, this isn’t a global crisis.

As my bewildered sister just did, I must once again use the name of this site to help explain human behaviour…


The W is for War– er, Women!

Idiot!This woman boggles my mind. What woman in her right mind would willingly support Bush? I mean, I can beleive that she’s a pro-lifer, and maybe she’s against gay marriage. And, heck, I don’t know, maybe she just plain doesn’t like poor people (damn you lazy single mothers!). Based on that, sure, vote Bush. But does she also hate women? Is she a self-hating woman? Babes 4 Bush is like Jews 4 Hitler. This president is literally erasing women’s issues. From way up here in the wang of Canada, I look to the states and ask myself: How can people still vote for this man!?!? Then I remember the name of this site…


My lover stands on golden sands…

This morning, at a completely unreasonable hour for a Saturday, I along with The Grabber, Righteous Guy and BogMan (in their secret identities) headed down to the Ottawa Sailing School so we could learn to cruise (cruise in the context of sailing, and not the neo-horny sense). We had all signed up for this course several weeks ago, and have been looking forward to it since before even signing up.

Showing up at 9am (as instructed by our welcome letter), we were surprised to find no one there. Now, I’m fairly certain that this sailing school is not a scam, as there are many, many people at the two yacht clubs in west-end Ottawa who know about the school. However, after waiting for over an hour, we spent most of the next hour wandering the grounds of first one, then the other yacht club, vainly searching for some sign of a sailing class. Sadly, we were unsuccessful.

I have no idea from which direction to get upset about this. Should I be more pissed that we were mistreated (at the least) by the sailing school, or that I didn’t get to sail today? I think the answer to that question will depend on the response we get on Monday to our inevitable irate phone calls.

Stay tuned…